Baby Daddy, There Are Some Things 
You Can’t Change!

The trend in Hollywood of having babies with sperm donors or a Baby Daddy, is catching on. Teenagers think it’s cool to be pregnant and have a baby, somebody to love only them and to dress up in cute clothes, the latest fashion. Hollywood magazines glamorize women on the front covers with baby in the bun.

Women who feel babies don’t need fathers or a baby daddy , what is their agenda? What are they afraid of? Do they think that if a man just contributes the sperm that there is nothing else the child would inherit? Give the child a few years and you will see. The child is his father and mother combined. There is no way around that.

Are we to believe that a father’s only role is to donate sperm and forget it? Nothing can be farther from the truth. If that is the case why is it that this young woman grew up in a nurturing home, loving environment, yet inside she wondered about certain of her behaviors. For example, why did she love the outdoors and gardening and her mother hated it? She had an appreciation for outdoor life and things that grow. For years she wondered why she was so different than her mother and siblings.

When she was about 30, her mother told her about her biological father. The mother told her that her dad wanted to see her. What the mother told her was a relief because she had already felt there was a missing link but she couldn’t explain it.

She decided to visit her father one weekend. At first she was nervous because she was meeting this stranger, her dad, for the first time. “What will I say? Will we have anything in common?” Were her thoughts on the plane ride there.

The introductory meeting was awkward at first, making small talk, trying to discover some common interest. Upon arrival at his home, he introduced his wife, teenage son and daughter. His wife Anna showed her to her room and where things were.

Later that day as she listened to discussions around the table she realized they shared a lot of commonalities. “How could this be,” she thought. He liked fishing, gardening, growing things. He raised pure bred dogs, had a worm farm. That time spent made her realized how much they were alike.

That weekend she left there connected and feeling very proud of the man who had fathered her and the opportunity to spend this time with him, not just see him as a baby daddy anymore. 

Fathers are important to children. Not just baby daddy’s with no responsibility,sperm donors. No, we are talking about men who want and do play a role in their children’s lives.

Children want to be a part of a structured family. When they are not they feel broken, or different than others. You can psychoanalyze it to death but there is a place for a father in the life of a child.

Young men need to look at a man and say, “That is my goal in life, to be like dad.” Young women still need to look at that man in their life and say, “That’s my dad. He is my protector.”

There is nothing healthy about discounting, overlooking or pretending you don’t have a father. Some man provided the sperm, otherwise, there would be no children. It is foolish to think that you can change the DNA of a child by gifts, love, a great home and wipe out the memory of the man who made life possible.

This is the lie that has been sold to parents who adopt children. Contrary to the deception promoted, “Mom, you cannot be everything to your son or daughter, unless you are planning to live on an island with no one else around except you and yours.”

When children step outside your world, not everyone share your opinion or life’s choice. Enough said. Point made. Maybe you have a point.