Living
Together
Without Strings – Who Said So?
So are we fooling
ourselves when we say living together
is better than being married? Or, you decide to try out the
cohabitation thing first to see if it will make you happy.
Living together
doesn’t work. You have the same
emotions on breaking up, just like a husband or wife. If there are
children in that arrangement, they suffer the same.
Two people trying
to bust up a cohabitation relationship
still have strings attached, don’t they? You may have made
bills
together, bought some things together; those things still have to be
settled.
If two people are
not married, then who is responsible
for what? Not that married people don’t have a problem
figuring
out who is responsible for what in the running of a household, but
going into any type relationship with no plan will lead to relationship
problems. Someone will not be happy about the arrangement.
The fairytale,
knight in shining armor, or princess role
is not reality. Annie was in a relationship with Bernie, doing
everything for him. All he did was come home, grabbed the remote and
wait on her to prepare the meals, wash the dishes, do the laundry,
etc., Annie started out to spoil him, and now she is taken for granted.
Some people can’t handle a good thing.
Pretending to be
married is different than making a
commitment to marriage.. There is nothing to work towards. When the
going gets tough, there is no second thought. . . leave.
Let’s
say you developed an illness—terminal—or the person
you
live with becomes ill. That is when you find out about this living
arrangement, just how uncommitted it is. There are some people with a
heart who don’t kick a person to the curve when they are
down,
but most are selfish.
Are you prepared to
handle these types of issues?
Another thought: suppose one of you loss your job and
couldn’t
find one for six months to a year? And your life together was based
upon equal sharing of everything. Chances are, one of you would be
kicked to the curve. You’re probably thinking,
“Well, I
could be married and have the same thing happen.”
You’re
right. The difference in the domestic partnership arrangement there is
little or no legal standing, or obligation, it’s your problem.
Living together,
accumulating bills together might leave
you holding the bag. Either one can walk away and not look back.
Solution: keep your
life the way it is. Don’t join
it together with another outside of a legal marriage. If you do, you
can expect disappointment. If a man or woman is not ready to commit,
what they are saying, “I want the marriage fantasy through
living
together, but I don’t really want the full commitment. I want
to
leave my options open.”
Cut your losses
now, live alone, visit and go home.
Perhaps you are
confused about your role as a man, or
woman. Has your thinking gotten to the point of rebellion? Is that why
living together seems to be a better option? You decided you wanted no
part of traditionalism, doing things God’s way, so go ahead,
you
have permission to do it your way, but the consequence never has a
happy ending.
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