Money
Matters:
Husband Making Less Money,
Wife Making More
Money matters in the real world of living together, managing finances,
learning to compromise, or complementing each other. Examine your
attitude. Are you rubbing it in his face? Why? Is it because of debt?
Do you feel he is spending more than you can account for? Something has
started the rift. Now you’ve got to figure out what it is.
If it is an issue,
that means someone is feeling
insecure, taken advantage of, or selfishness has reared its ugly head.
Which one is it? It is not going to be resolved unless you are willing
to work at it together. A husband who has an issue with his wife making
more exposes his insecurity and it is a money matter that should have
been discussed prior to the marriage.
Both sides need to
look at the overall picture: why did
you get married? You wanted to make a life together, that meant
forsaking selfishness and others that might interfere with this
relationship. Some underlying triggers might be the way he was raised.
Was he brought up in a family where he was taught that he is the
breadwinner of his family. If so, admirable as it maybe, today both
husband and wife work to get ahead faster.
Don’t
feel bad because you make more as the wife.
And if you are the husband in this situation, you are focused on the
wrong thing. There is really only one income, and that is what each of
you contribute to the whole. It does not make you less of a provider,
or man because your wife makes more.
A man who has a
wife willing to help provide for the
family should be thankful and not criticize or complain. However, if
you are the wife and you are doing any of what was suggested in the
beginning of this writing, you need to stop it right now.
Possible causes and
feelings have been identified,
hopefully, giving you something to think about. If that does not work,
go back to your copy of your wedding vows. You forgot to talk about
money matters in the midst of all of the romance, warm and fuzzy
feelings but it is not too late. There is a good chance if you
counseled before marriage, you ignored the money part.
Most couples do
until it happens. Stop now and sit down
together and talk about your feelings. Hear each other out without
passing judgment, or commenting. Then ask each other: “What
can I
do to help you to feel better about how you feel relating to our
finances?”
If she makes more,
and you are handling the finances,
keep her informed; set aside a time weekly to go over the finances.
Since it is an issue, regular meetings and involvement will iron out
feelings and thoughts. Remind each other that you are one, that
whatever you have, you freely share, that you are no longer two but one.
“If all
else fails, live by the rule, do unto
others as you would have them do unto you. Because today you make more,
tomorrow the table could turn.”
"Do you find yourself in a life challenge or trial - not sure which way
to turn?" Click
Here!
From
Money Matters to Money Articles
|
Available
Resources
First
Comes Love, Then What?: Challenging Your Assumptions on Dating, Love
and Commitment
DNA
of Relationships: Discover How You Are Designed For Satisfying
Relationships
Marriable:
Taking the Desperate Out of Dating
Boundaries
in Dating: Making Dating Work
101
Relationship Secrets to Boost Your Love Life
|
