My
Mother Is Dating and I Don't Like It!
It
is amazing how we reap what we sow. I remember the many
boyfriends my mother and I were at odds with each other on. How many
times did
your parents tell you they didn’t like a certain boy, or
girl? Be honest.
The
first question I would ask you: Is your mother in her
right mind? If your mother is in her right mind, she is an adult and
can make
her own decisions. You had to learn for yourself, didn’t you?
Ouch! I know it
hurts but she is not a child.
Why
don’t you like your mother being involved with another
man? If your father is dead, or they are separated with no hope of ever
getting
back together, your mother is trying to move on. If she is older, after
a long
grief period over your father and finally a spark has come into her
life, aren’t
you being selfish?
The
hardest thing for us kids, to see mom with another man,
whether she is older or younger. If your mother is involved with
someone who
mistreats, or abuses her, I can’t blame you if you are
protective. Had to go
and put my mother’s new boyfriend out of her house during her
dating years
because he got abusive. I took the initiative after she showed up at my
house
wanting to crash for a few days.
I
was young. I did what I thought she wanted me or someone
to do. You can’t decide happiness for your mother. That means
you really can’t
choose who she wants to spend her time with. Examine your feelings.
What is it
about this relationship that is bugging you? Be honest, not selfish.
Are you
jealous? Do you feel this person is taking time away from you? Are you
afraid
he will take what your mother has that should go to you when she dies
one day.
When
your mother, or parents said they didn’t like someone
they had reasons that related to something that would hurt you down the
road.
Sometimes they were forced to accept your decisions and pray for the
best.
Spend
sometime conversing with her choice, get to know who
he is before you pass judgment. He may be a nice guy. At least you will
have
some idea of what his intentions are.
If
you want to spend the money, you could hire a private
investigator without your mother knowing, to find out a little more
about this
person. If it turns out they are a golddigger, or his past has a blight
that
would harm your mother later (forger, rapist, or engaged in criminal
behavior).
Don’t go to your mother, go to that person and tell them that
you do not want
your mother hurt and if that is his intent, he should move on.
That
is a bit drastic but sometimes we may go through great
lengths to protect the one we love. If that person has good intents,
they will
get your drift and it won’t bother them. On the other hand,
if they don’t they
may use what you said to draw your mother even closer to their side by
telling
her what you said.
This
spark may not call for an investigator but keep your
eyes open and let mama have her sparkling moment.
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